The Blog Begins

Hello Blog World.


I never thought that I would want a blog of my very own. I don't consider myself very articulate or creative with words. My husband (Byron) and I are very busy people and tend to spend our down time in ways that other people would consider to be "up time." But recently, I have been reading more blogs and I thought, "if these people's thoughts are intersting to me, maybe my musings will be interesting to others."


About 3 months ago, my life plans were put on a detour. We were expecting our first baby in March. At our 18 week ultrasound, the radiologist came to speak to us after the scan. She had to break the news to us that our baby had a rare condition called a frontal encephelocele. This condition meant that our baby's bone structure in her head had not formed properly and her brain tissues were growing in the wrong places. I think we were a little in shock. At first I didn't even think that it was a big deal. But when it became apparent that our baby's life was going to be very different than we imagined, Byron and I invited our family to fast and pray with us for the little body that was growing inside mine. We continued to enjoy our lives and be excited about our new baby. We tried to keep things as normal as possible before we welcomed her into our home with whatever needs she would have.

3 months ago, my waters broke spontaneously and I was in labour 6 weeks before the scheduled cesarean that was to help prevent damage to our little girl's fragile head. The next morning, Amelia Mercedes was born by cesarean section. However, her little brain had not developed properly and there was brain stem damage that had not previously been ditected. She only lived for 7 hours. But what a wonderful 7 hours those were. We were able to consult with specialists right away and their diagnosis allowed us to accept that our baby girl was not supposed to live very long. We spent the entire day in the NICU with wonderful medical support personel and our parents and church leaders. We sang songs to Amelia and held her. My favorite part of that day was when I got to hold my daughter skin to skin on my chest. I believe that I will see, hold, and parent my beautiful Amelia again in heaven.

When I was pregnant with Amelia, I had received a job as a teacher at one of the best high schools with the one of the best music programs that I know of in this area. I loved going to work everyday and working with those youth made the time fly by. But alas, that job was only a temporary position. This was not a problem to me as I was to complete my contract a month before my baby was due. This seemed like perfect timing. And it would have been.
Now I am a substitute music teacher (not a bad job, but less fulfilling to me) and my life feels like it is in somewhat of a limbo status.

So there is the background to my blog. Enduring Well is meant to be a place where I can share my thoughts about this time in my life. I don't plan on only posting on days when I miss Amelia. I want to write about all the great things that I want to do with the time that I have been given. In the past 3 months I have thought about a lot of things that I would like to have the time to do. Read classic literature, become a good meal planner, re-instate my piano playing skills, garden, etc. But the last few months I have not acted upon any of these items (except I learned how to knit). This blog was my solution to the motivation problem that I have been feeling. If I tell you (the blog world) that I am going to do something or that I am doing something, then maybe I might feel responsible to you to complete one of these tasks.

I don't want to sit and wait at this road block for the time when I can continue on my path as before. I am taking the detour. I am going to learn and love life as I continue to Endure Well.

I am excited for the day when I once again start on the pregnancy path.